Holidays

Holidays are always tough.  Who will we spend time with?  Who will spend time with me? Which parent gets the "prime" time?  It is all so difficult for everyone.  This is not what the holiday's are supposed to be about.  They are about God, Gratitude and Family.  It is the family part that gets convoluted.  Last year I told my daughter "do what you want and i will be okay with it, i know you have four sets of parents and four sets of grandparents to see and choose between".  I was happy with that choice, felt i was pretty evolved.  The day came and i wasn't chosen, breathe, but the fathers were, breathe.... TOO hard.  Suddenly i was hurt, mad jealous.  My daughter said, oh mom, i thought you said it would be okay with you what ever we chose to do for the holiday's.  Hmm.. yes i said that.. but i guess i didn't mean it.  And so it goes, wanting to be the one chosen for the special times.  I realized that i have to learn how to be honest about my feelings with out being demanding on my children's time.  Allowing them the freedom to be adults and make their own traditions.  I asked for some time this year... just a small block with all three and their families.. I asked didn't demand, so i will see who makes it and i will enjoy the day and be gracious, kind and Thankful oh and honest.